Your own hair – A Mystery


A disturbing yet recurring spiel has been coming my way lately.  It’s the same story but from different people, their version of what I consider a sad saga.   I’ve been hearing from intelligent, resourceful and otherwise savvy sisters that they couldn’t handle their hair in its natural state, so they went back to the relaxer!   I admit, I may be biased as far as this topic is concerned, but this tale confounds me; it made my brow wrinkle and my brain do a flip.  This is especially true when they recount the damage of their chemical choices.  In other words, these fierce sisters who make it through years of higher education, navigate through any number of mind numbing experiences, are unable to figure out how to comb, manage, and get creative with their own hair?  There’s definitely something wrong with this story.

I admit that when you go into a “regular salon”, if you come in with a head full of natural hair or even just a couple of inches of new growth, often the only option is to to have a chemical process.  There’s typically no attempt to work with your natural hair.  Of course there’s always the option of putting it all in the hands of a professional, natural hair care provider, but obviously that wasn’t what they wanted to do.  These sisters wanted to work with their own hair themselves, but just didn’t know how.

How did we get here?  How is it that we can figure out everything else, but our hair in its natural state is a mystery to us?   We are well aware of our history in this country, how most of our ancestors arrived here with no tools or “products” herbs, potions, etc to groom their hair.  And let’s face it, hair had to be the last thing on the agenda when your life and the survival of you and yours was a grave, ever present issue.

Fast forward to present day, we have all that it takes to learn how to manage our own hair, so the excuse of I didn’t know what to do so I went back to a relaxer is just lame.   Come on people!  I mean sisters!   What has kept you from learning how to manage your own beautiful, kinky, curly, fluffy, spongy, electrically beautiful hair?   Please Do Tell?

For some other sites that offer tips on how to manage and care for your natural hair check out Natural Hair Care Guide and Going Natural

More Hair!

6 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Pat on October 22, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Dear Anu,

    I purchased 5 bundles of Baby Curl with the intension of getting twists. At the time I ordered the stylist, who once did hair in New York, told me I needed 5 bundles. However, when I got to the shop, the stylist said “You Don’t have Enough Hair”. She then gave me micro-breads at the roots and twists on the ends. My question is, how many bags of hair do you recommend for twists that larger than micro twists that appear at your website for this type of hair?


    • Dear Pat,
      When a Stylist knows how to use the Baby Curl hair, five bundles are definitely enough unless you have crazy thick hair or want the twist longer than the regular length of the extensions. Which would mean she’d need more hair to make the twist longer. The confusion comes from the fact that the hair looks deceptively sparse, but it’s not. It’s much more dense that it appears and you only need a small amount for each twist. The Baby Curl twist is achieve by braiding the hair in, otherwise the twist would slide out if they were just twisted in at the root. But what I believe happened was she just used too much of it in each twist. You only need a sliver of hair for each twist. All that to say 5 bundles are plenty.


  2. Posted by Soyini on February 1, 2011 at 5:46 pm

    Hello Anu,

    I don’t think it’s so much that people cannot manage or care for their natural hair, it is that they don’t like the way it looks.

    I have been natural for many years, and am always trying to find a hair style that I like, but none of the styles really looks good to me, unless hair is added. I don’t have a lot of hair and it shrinks a lot. So, the issue for me is that I wish I had more hair, not straight hair.


    • Soyini,
      Your name is very familiar. You mentioned you doing your hair. Do go to professionals from time to time? Some times you can receive advise, techniques or inspiration from visiting a professional that would be difficult to glean on your own. We all wish we had more hair. But alas, we have to work with what we have and if we don’t know how, seek professional guidance.

      Sometimes, if your hair is really fine, extensions can be the wrong choice, just exacerbating the situation, causing the hair to become thinner. My hair is fine too and recently I had extensions, but then took them out after just a couple of weeks, because I didn’t want to deal with the extensions. After removing the extensions, I noticed that I felt nearly bald compared to all the hair I had just removed from my head…It’s taken a few days for me to feel like my hair is enough. I am learning to accept my own hair and love it. I’ve always admired those with naturally thick, thick hair and longed for that. But each day I am grateful for the healthy head of hair that I do have.


  3. Posted by Marissa on March 10, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    Dear Anu
    I am now doing the natural thing (it’s been 7 months now since the last relaxer)and I have about three inches of new growth. I am thinking…only three inches!!!! Additionally, the hair has different textures…some parts are very tough, other parts really wavy but I love it. My biggest concern is what to do with it when i do the BC…(I’ll do that when it’s a year) Right now I braid in extensions. Also my hairline is not the “conventional” one…I am a widowpeeked sister!!! so all styles do not work for me and I notice that your models none have that kind of hairline. Any advice? I absolutely do not want to go back to the chemicals….my poor hair was probably mad at me for that and I don’t want to do the interlocking thing either. Any advice would be welcome. i live in the caribbean by the way.


    • Dear Marissa,
      Everyone’s hair grows at different rates, but I would say that three inches in 7 months is just about right. It’s also very common to have different textures of hair, that’s very common.

      Widows peaks are like a natural gap in the front teeth, or a mole on the face, it’s distinctive and I think you should be proud of it and work with it.

      Once you have the big chop you may find that your hair isn’t as difficult to handle as you’re imagining. I’m not exactly clear though what you’re asking for advise on? Please explain.


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