I’ve come to realize that due to any number of variable , we may often make choices that reflect a lack of integrity when it comes to doing what’s best for our hair and ourselves.  There are times when we know in our hearts that it’s time for a change, an adjustment, or a new look or different way.  Instead of facing this internal  dialogue, we ignore it, knowing that each day of doing so is robbing us of some fundamental sense of peace.

I recently experienced this phenomenon.  For the first time in many years I am wearing my own hair minus Locs or extensions, just my own hair out.  It’s definitely a new experience and I am still adjusting to it.  One day I decided that wearing my own hair wasn’t giving me that “Wow Factor”.  I decided then and there that I had to buy some hair that would give me a bigger more commanding presence.  And we all know that true presence comes from within.  That aside, I was on a mission to acquire this new hair.  I ordered the hair and at first I felt a relief but not longer after that I noticed a sadness and an internal discomfort as I contemplated what I was about to embark on.  I was about to have all this hair (and there’s nothing wrong with that) except that I really wasn’t in the mood for extensions and a lot of hair.  Still, I was going to go against my gut and get this hair so that I would have what I considered the, “Wow Factor”.

I’m the first to admit that when it comes to hair, as the saying goes, “It’s just hair”.  But then sometimes it can be deep.  I could feel something was not right.  I could not shake the feeling that I was out of integrity with myself and I wondered, “Why do you think that you’re going to be somehow more beautiful or satisfied when you add this hair to your head”?  One thought lead to another and before I went to bed that night I had come to peace with what was real for me at this time.  I decide that right now, I ‘m just not in a place where I would feel true to myself if I added this hair to my head believing that it somehow would make me feel more beautiful.  So in the morning I changed  my appointment to receive again the style I have been wearing and I immediately felt a lightness, a sigh of relief.   Don’t get me wrong, I still have the hair I ordered in my drawer at work and when the time is right, I will pull it out and use it, but I know in my heart that now is not that time.  Right now I’m still rocking my A-Nu “Fro, loving it and feeling true to myself.

Here are some indicators of when we’re out of integrity with our hair-self or ourselves:

• We continue to wear a style despite the fact that the style is damaging our hair in some way – thinning the hair line, dry and brittle from over processing with color, pulling the hair out from the roots, Locs too long and heavy
• We convince ourselves that this one style is the only one that we look good in
• We want a change but fear we won’t be accepted by a loved one, co-workers, relatives or ourselves
• We’re simply afraid of change
• Your Stylist keeps suggesting something more appropriate and you keep putting it off
• We don’t take the time to explore other options
• We continue to invest in a style that stresses our budget – there are less expensive options you can discuss with your stylist

This was an enlightening experience for me, one that has given me some insight into what’s in my head about my hair.  Tell me, what’s in your head about your hair?

Last June, 2008 was the 30th anniversary of my entry into the then, non-existent Natural Hair Care industry.  I decided to document some of the many styles I’ve worn over the years and to pay homage to my favorite Hairstylist in the world.

As a blogger, I was invited to a complimentary screening of Chris Rock’s film, “Good Hair“.  I went with much anticipation and an open mind as I really didn’t know what to expect.   This particular screening was held in an office building in mid-town Manhattan,  a few short blocks from Times Square.  The screening room was lovely and held approximately 60 seats.

As the film began I was initially impressed as it opened with a little historical perspective, but that was over in short order, lasting about 30 seconds, so it seemed.   As the film proceeded I noticed I began to have a very sinking feeling in my stomach (my barometer) and my heart.  It wasn’t too far into the film that I began to realized that I was actually feeling very sad as I sat through this film.  Don’t get me wrong, Chris Rock is a comedian and so the laughs were there and I can’t say I didn’t laugh at all.  But too many of the laughs were at the expense of dignity and pride.

Very much like that laugh seen on Oprah when Chris was there to promote his film yesterday.  A photo of Oprah as a very young girl shows up on the screen and clearly Chris was offended by her image as he laughingly said to her, something along the lines of, that picture is from your slave days!   And he and couldn’t get off of it, kept on going on about it.  Oprah and the audience also laughed through this.  I sat there offended and wondering what the hell was so funny???  There was nothing funny about it.  Because Oprah had a wide nose and kinky hair she is said to look like a slave?  Come on Chris!

But I digress, back to Good Hair.  This film has many disturbing moments (like the one on Oprah) for me.  Most telling was how ridiculous black women were made to look as they seemingly unconsciously go through life with the willingness to sacrifice health, dignity and financial common sense all in the quest to have straight, long hair.  This film and the points it made could have been done without the degradation, but that option was not chosen.  One has to wonder why not???

To his credit Chris did feature one sister with natural hair in his film, a Khamit Kinks client, Traci Thoms.  And one sister which like in our up coming film,  has chosen to wear a bald head than to cover over her alopecia.

There was a white guy sitting in front of me laughing his buns off throughout the film.  He really got it, knows all black women’s hair secrets now.  He was also taking notes through out.  So at the end of the film as I was reaching for one of my business cards (I was going to inform him about my upcoming film) I asked him if he was a writer.  He said he was and that he wrote for the New York Post.  I immediately stopped looking for my card as he gleefully went on to tell me he had an appointment to interview Chris the next day…  He asked me what did I think of the film. I told him, “Despite all the excuses, the use of chemicals to straighten our hair is on a unconscious level still an attempt [for many] to aspire to have the same type of hair of the very people who enslaved our ancestors.  And this is sad to me”.  He said, “Oh, that’s an interesting perspective”!  Isn’t it though.  Am I taking this way too seriously?

The good thing about Good Hair is the fact that Chris clearly points out how poisonous relaxers are.  And on Oprah he made the point of pointing out how using chemical straighteners on children is really not the move.  Chris ends his movie by stating that if his daughters make the choice to chemically straighten their hair, his advice would be that it’s more important what’s in their head than what’s on their hair.

Well that take you right back to the point of our up coming film “In Our Heads about Our Hair“.  Because yes, it does matter what’s in your head, because ultimately, for too many, what’s in their head is going to reflect in some major way what’s on their head.

On Sunday, September 27th, an extended trailer of our film “In Our Heads about Our Hair” was the closing film for the Reel Sister Film Festival. We had a nice turn out and the audience patiently waited through the previous film’s Q&A to finish before our film began.

Our excerpt was a short 22 minutes, but from what I could glean, the audience was captivated throughout.  They laughed, they marveled, they applauded during the film and spontaneously responded in the ways we had hoped for at the appropriate moments.  Most of the audience sat through our Q & A to get to know more about our film and the process of creating In Our Heads about Our Hair. The entire experience was very rewarding.

Everyone who spoke with us gave us positive feedback with the follow up that they are anxiously anticipating the full-length film.

Needless to say, the director Hemamset Angaza, the other producers, Maitefa Angaza and Paulette Tabb and myself – we all went home on a high!  I was buzzed up on joy and satisfaction that our first attempt turned out to be a great success!

We were also warned by veteran film makers not to rush the completion of our film.  We were told, “It’s better to get it right and have it the way we really want it, than to rush it”.  We  all look forward to the day when we can invite everyone to see the completed version.  We will keep you abreast.  And we’d just like to Thank everyone who came out, for their support.  We’d especially like to Thank Carolyn Butts and the Reel Sisters Festival for stepping out on faith and including us in their phenomenal festival.

Heads Up!

This weekend is the 12th annual  Reel Sisters Film Festival held at LIU’s Kumble Theater.  All films are directed, produced or written by women of color.  Included in this year’s offering is an excerpt of my up coming documentary entitled,

“In Our Heads about Our Hair“, directed by Hemamset Angaza, co produced by Anu Prestonia, Maitefa Angaza, and Paulette Tabb.

Our film has funny, painful, sand surprising moments and a true diversity of perspectives.  It will provide food for thought as the subjects in our film reveal their most intimate thoughts regading how they feel about their hair and how it has impacted their lives.  There are also a host of other magnificent film you won’t want to miss.

In Our Heads about Our Hair will screen Sunday, the 27th at 5:50 p.m.  This screening is free, so to reserve your seats please call 347-534-3304 or send an email to coordinator@reelsisters.org

See you at the movies!

Earlier this season I decided to wear my own hair and I was loving it.  More recently I decided to switch it up a little.  A number of years ago I came up with this style and I coined it A-Nu ‘Fro. It was featured in that summer’s Khamit Kinks hair show.  It’s a wonderful carefree style that allows you to wear a stylized, naturally textured ‘fro, created using your own hair. I’ve been sporting it for a few weeks and have been pleasantly surprised by the many compliments and also the questions:  ’What is that?’  ’How do you do that?’  People should know they’ve gone too far when they ask if I did it myself!  Gone are the days when I can hold my arms up that long to do my own hair!

But wearing this style has been a real pleasure.  One of the fun parts was seeking out the best Afro pick.  You see when I awaken in the morning, my Nu ‘Fro is all mis-shapened from sleeping on it.  I simply lift the roots with my Afro pick to even it all out.  It takes a cool 30 seconds or so, and then I’m off to my day.   Looking for a cool, care-free style?  You might consider checking out the A-Nu ‘Fro.

You’d have to admit that in the last 20 years the word “natural” has definitely had it’s share of usage.  Everything is deemed natural these days, whether it truly is or not.  In other words, it’s been used and abused, stretched to the limit of it’s original meaning.  When I began in this business over thirty years ago, natural was mainly being used to describe vegetarian food.  Since that time it has also been used to sell everything from “soup to nuts” and some really questionable things in-between.

When it comes to natural hair, there seems to be a debate brewing.  There are some who believe that natural hair means you don’t chemically treat your hair.   While others confer that it also means that you can wear your hair in any style extensions, weaves, and even straightened with heat via flat-irons or hot comb just as long as it hasn’t been chemically altered.  Some times this includes a person whose own hair you’ve never see because it’s always covered in extensions or a weave.   And of course natural hair also includes Locs of all shapes sizes and variations.

The young new jacks on the block are taking it a step further and their perspective is natural hair means only your own hair, which does not include the use of extensions, the cover up of a weave or the altered state of a having it straightened by heat or whatever.  It strictly means only your own hair in its natural state.

It seems that there are dozens of websites popping up that speak directly to this message.  A few of my favorites are The Coil Review, Natural Hair Care Guild and Going Natural .  As Mireille Liong of Going Natural stated, those with this perspective can some times be like “natural hair Nazis”.  Their belief is that if it’s anything other than your own hair then it’s really not natural.  But you know, though I get their point, I still feel to each her own.  We’re all evolving at different rates and why should we judge?  That’s not to say that I’m not going to continue to encourage sisters to consider the alternative to chemicals.  I will continue to do that, because I believe in promoting health and the non-chemical choice is just the healthier choice.

I have noticed recently though, that a number of clients at Khamit Kinks, are being influenced by other clients who are having styles without the use of extensions.  One client whose worn her hair in long single braid extensions for years, just the other day was so impressed by an elder who had a wet two strand twist that she made the decision to try it out.

This client sat in the salon for hours having her single braid extensions removed.  She was able to witness client after client, come and go while she sat there not having a style done, but spent hours just having her extensions removed.   That was probably enough to inspire her to try something a less complicated.  She returned the next day and true to her word was styled up in a wet set Two Strand that looked gorgeous on her!  She’s still getting used to it, but I applaud her for trying something different, for having the courage to step out on faith, to come to terms with accepting the beauty of her own “natural” hair.

But my humble opinion is do what I do, I try it all, well with the exception of straightening.  I recently removed my Tom Boy braids and am just sporting a ‘fro and the response has been so positive, I’m definitely encouraged to keep it going for now.  What’s your opinion regarding natural hair?  Does it include the use of extensions or straightening with heat?  Tell us how you feel.

Khamit Kinks participated in a Hair Show at the 38th annual International Arts Festival on July 5th.  The theme of the show was “In the Spirit of Barack Obama “CHANGE” Legacies and Visions of Natural Hair.

Our fashions were provide by Brenda Bronson Bey of Tribal Truths boutique, make up by Lesma Watkins, and Photos by Keston Duke.  Check out our VIDEO MONTAGE from that glorious day.

The trend towards natural hair began originally in the ‘60s with the advent of the Afro and then died down, only to return in earnest during the late ‘70s, around the time that I entered the budding natural hair-care industry. Many of us were captivated and loving our natural selves! As in the ‘60s, the decision made by Black women to wear their hair natural did not happen in a vacuum.  This choice to go “counter-culture,” unsupported by mainstream media, is a bold and brave one that speaks to a change in consciousness.

What I’ve observed, not only in myself, but also in countless clients and others, is that “going natural” can include, changing one’s diet to a more wholesome eating experience. It can include being drawn to seeking out a spiritual path, including meditation, prayer, yoga and self-reflection and exploration.

When your consciousness opens, your awareness changes and expands.  You begin to notice realities you may have taken for granted, or of which you were unaware. Something as simple as the effects of littering, for example, will appear on your radar, maybe for the first time. You’ll take better notice of your surroundings, your interactions with others, your own mind-chatter… the list of things that will become more present to you is endless.

It’s been long said and documented that we are a microcosm of the Universe; it’s easy to see (if we’re looking) how that occurs in our consciousness, is reflected in our world. Making the move to natural hair effortlessly lends itself to the blossoming of the Green Movement.  When you respect yourself and seek your authenticity, you’ll look for it in both your immediate world and in the world at large.  You’ll recognize that everything you do has an effect not only on you, but also on the planet.  This includes what you think about your hair and what you do with it.  After you stop putting chemicals in your hair and doing unnatural things with it, you may not want to continue to eat unnatural foods.

There is a bubbling up from deep inside that can no longer bury the truth ― our hair is beautiful, just the way God made it.  It doesn’t have to be altered for its beauty to come forth.  The same is true for the home that God provided. If we disrespect the planet, we disrespect ourselves and we’ll suffer the consequences, whether or not we are aware of the action or reaction.

Therefore natural hair and the green movement go hand-in-hand.  Wearing your hair natural means you are not contributing to the rinsing of harsh chemicals into our water supply.  It means that you are in a place of love, acceptance, appreciation, and honor for your hair, your body, your mind and the planet.  We all have heard the old adage: “What goes around comes around.”  If we continue to disrespect ourselves and the planet, only fear and sadness will result.

As soon as we decide to love and respect the planet and ourselves we can look forward to more love, peace, and glory, including the crowning kind. Going natural? I highly recommend it!

This article was commissioned for Our Time Press newspaper and appeared in the June 11th 2009 edition.